“I walk on an isolated, lonely beach, and her absence is a vast and angry sea that breaks over me repeatedly–one black and terrible surge after another. Each batters me relentlessly, and I am powerless to resist, stand, endure. And I go down under their weight and intensity.” Thus reads my journal a scant six [...]
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Early in my career, I’d sometimes have to travel. And when Mary packed my suitcase she’d always hide little notes for my discovery. One, a long-lost, hand-sketched rendition of the cozy den in our tiny house in Sherwood, reminded me that “home is waiting for you.” As part of the painful post-death process of deciding what [...] I was strong during her rapid physical decline. I was strong during her painful suffering and death. I was strong at her funeral and at the graveside. But today the tears came. They came in simple, trivial ways. Shutting off her cell phone. Cancelling reservations in Branson. Closing a department store account. Returning books received but [...] “I’d like to live my life over again,” some assert, “if I could just know what I know now.” Not me! Nevertheless, I’ve purposely relived a few brief hours this past week through a number of old video tapes I’m trying to convert to more durable DVD. We loved our Jenny intensely in life, but the films [...] War’s gruesome visage snarls from flickering screens with bone-chilling horror. And with each explosion, every flash, the cost of freedom visibly manifests itself through death and destruction–right before our eyes. Not many years ago I stood in poignant reflection as a mother decorated the grave of her son killed in battle at age 18. The ever-youthful [...] Life has led us through deep waters of painful transition but a few times. The latest (and most difficult thus far) is at flood stage. The birth of our first child initially launched us into the rough seas of change. Her profound retardation, blindness and a host of associated infirmities complicated the journey. But the remarkable [...] |
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Copyright 2012 James McAlister - All Rights Reserved |
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