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These three items have been an encouragement to me in the grieving process after the loss of loved ones, and I’m hopeful that they will be for others as well. Please feel to pass them on. There’s a link to a printer-friendly version at the end. —– HOW TO GRIEVE “After the first death, there is no other,” [...] I saw her for the last time on such a rare and wonderful autumn day as this. With fall crispness charging the air, our long, lingering stroll around the campus let her enjoy the unique texture of October breeze and sun upon her cheeks. Our visit completed, I offered my goodbyes–without realizing she was hearing them [...] After 30 months of agonizing preparation, countless prayers and the support of many who stood by me and helped me, I am now in a new house. I am thrilled for the fresh start in a place untainted by difficult memories, many brought on by the death of my mate and companion of 40 years. Unlike [...] My wife’s death a year ago immediately plunged me into many new behaviors, almost all exceedingly difficult to embrace. But the extreme distress and displacement I once felt is virtually gone, and I’m now developing a workable routine–of sorts. And in the process I’ve had to learn (or at least have been working on learning) [...] “I walk on an isolated, lonely beach, and her absence is a vast and angry sea that breaks over me repeatedly–one black and terrible surge after another. Each batters me relentlessly, and I am powerless to resist, stand, endure. And I go down under their weight and intensity.” Thus reads my journal a scant six [...] Early in my career, I’d sometimes have to travel. And when Mary packed my suitcase she’d always hide little notes for my discovery. One, a long-lost, hand-sketched rendition of the cozy den in our tiny house in Sherwood, reminded me that “home is waiting for you.” As part of the painful post-death process of deciding what [...] I was strong during her rapid physical decline. I was strong during her painful suffering and death. I was strong at her funeral and at the graveside. But today the tears came. They came in simple, trivial ways. Shutting off her cell phone. Cancelling reservations in Branson. Closing a department store account. Returning books received but [...] |
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Copyright 2010 James McAlister - All Rights Reserved |
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