This week's mail brings a letter from a distraught mother whose only child is painfully separating herself from her family–and a note of encouragement to that mother from an older friend. This poignant exchange holds two important lessons.
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This is the saddest day of my life. I wish it would be the only saddest day of my life, but alas, it is just the beginning of the saddest rest of my life.
My daughter is leaving home. If only she would stay a little longer. If only we could read one last book together. What was the last book we read together? When was that? Did we laugh?
If only we could spend one week… every night together… cuddled on the couch as in days of old when she would greet me at the door with "Where have you been? Let's read!!"
But that little life is over. It did not have to end this way.
I would be willing to give her every cent I will make for the rest of my life if she would wait… wait until family struggles are resolved–and then go.
But an exciting future without parental oversight beckons… and she goes. And I am looking old age full in the face. Old age without the child who has been joy to my heart, the sunlight of my life. We truly love each other… but she goes.
Children break our hearts and don't even know it.
She will probably never understand that I will simply miss her presence. Oh, how I miss her even now, and she has not even packed one bag. But her heart is gone already.
Dear God, please let her miss me just a little. And have mercy on me, Father. How else can I bear this… this… this gaping void in front of me?
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I felt your heart this morning as I read your note. I have often sat and stared at a picture of my children and remembered the times of great joy–and the times of my great failures. We have been able to live close to both of them, and there has been great opportunity to be involved in their growth as adults. There has also come openness to the reality of the truths of God and a great desire to know what He has to say about life.
My son is now my best male friend and my daughter my best female friend. The last few years have provided occasion to give advice on finances, child rearing, marital problems and business opportunities.
And now God is allowing me to have a better ending than my beginning with my children.
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Those with the power to hurt us sometimes exercise their ability to blot the light from our lives. But by the grace of God, the dawn may be more dramatic than the sunset–if we can cling to hope through the seemingly interminable midnight hours.
Copyright 2003 James McAlister
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