For those not planning on dying soon, "how to die in peace" may seem a peculiar topic. But we die in peace the same way we would live in peace–and that should interest us all.
I don't have the original source for the points enumerated here, but they came from studies of people who were near death. Though many difficult issues confronted them, five rose to the top in their efforts to reconcile the imminence of death with the desire to face it in peace.
So I present them here–five prerequisites for dying in peace–as questions we can ask ourselves as we aim to live in peace.
1. Are all my conflicts healed?
Those interviewed had a strong desire to depart this life without leaving regretful, broken relationships. Though the original issues of many long-standing conflicts had been forgotten, the desire to make amends became more critical as time and opportunity diminished. Better to keep short accounts along the way.
2. Who am I, now that I have lost my identity?
We often derive identities based on our jobs, positions or roles in life–but those don't last forever. But identity can be founded on sturdy and permanent qualities that will endure the changing seasons of life. To be acknowledged as a man of integrity or a virtuous woman is a badge of honor that transcends both roles and time. Character is permanent identity.
3. Does my suffering have meaning?
How can suffering have meaning, especially the suffering that will eventually bring death? Those who have endured cancer can comfort those who are facing it. Those who have lost a child can encourage others whose lives have been turned upside down by such a tragedy. Faithful endurance through the battering life may give can become strong pillars of hope to those who may be near collapsing under their own loads. Thus our suffering has meaning when it helps others in their struggles against foes we have already faced.
4. Have I fulfilled my life's purpose?
In the final hours, position, prestige and accumulated wealth meant little to those interviewed. But the assurance that they successfully run the race of life was important. Faithfulness to God-given duties as children, parents and mates would be a good beginning in running the course to a worthy completion. But starting well is far easier than finishing well.
5. What's going to happen to me after I die?
Even those who preferred not to think of heaven or hell were concerned as the end approached. Not having the question settled was a source of anxiety. Were they ready?
It would be good to ask ourselves these same questions while effecting change is still possible. Then when our time comes, dying in peace will be just another step in a lifelong process of living in peace.
Copyright 2002 James McAlister
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