The first time I saw kudzu vines, I was immediately impressed with their lush, green foliage. Those particular vines had been planted as a "simple" way to control erosion on the hillsides … but with some unforeseen results. They had gradually spread to encroach upon power poles, wires, billboards, and fences until nothing could stop their advance. The "law of unintended consequences" had spawned a whole new set of unexpected problems. Solutions to problems are seldom as simple as they first appear.
We know of a young man who recently abandoned his wife and small children. He gave no reason except that he was "tired of problems" and wanted a fresh start. Enough is enough, he reasoned, and set sail for Utopia. Sound familiar?
Too familiar, I'm afraid, and too simplistic as well. Though it may take a while, the unintended consequences of his decision will have their revenge. Having sown the wind, he will likely reap a whirlwind that will rip apart his heritage.
Broken relationships cause deep-rooted bitterness. His idealistic thought that "the children will adjust" is just plain folly. The hurts of having been forsaken by their hero will span generations. If he marries again, will there be fewer problems? Not likely, for there is no escape from the difficulties of everyday life. Even the greener grass across the fence must still be mowed.
If the young man were to invite me, I would offer some advice. But I wouldn't just pat him on the back and say, "There, there. Everything will be OK." Having been married to the same wife for more than 30 years, I know that relationships demand commitment and determination to endure the inescapable hard times that all marriages face.
Without making light of real-life struggles, I would be more inclined to be straightforward. "Go home and work on your problems. Love your wife and children in spite of their failures. Learn to overlook your hurts so you can see your own faults. Plant a garden. Pay the bills. Wash the car. The essence of success and fulfillment lies in faithfulness to duty, not in escaping responsibility.
"To be honest, your future holds even more problems. Old age, death, and the grave are much closer than you think. And when they come, you will deeply regret having destroyed relationships just to have made yourself feel better. You have a race to run, a fight to finish, a Judge to face. Life is not easy, and problems are not solved by running away from them. Make the best of what you have … now."
He stands on the precipice of a monumental blunder, and it may seem a trivial thing to purposefully break the marriage vows he made before God and man. But it's not. The moment he jumps to escape his problems, I fear the law of unintended consequences will take hold, bringing his Utopia crashing to the ground. And great will be the fall of it.
Copyright 1998 James McAlister
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